


Run away from me, but I'll wait

by Qwerty542



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 (TV) RPF
Genre: Alcohol, Anya & Lexa Are Siblings (The 100), Boss lexa, Clarke is understanding, Clexa, Cute, Endgame Clarke Griffin/Lexa, F/F, F/M, Fear, Fist Fights, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gay, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Sex, One Shot, Short One Shot, Sweet, Weddings, anya is the protective sister, high school musical 2 is a great film, i might have gotten this idea from watching high school musical 2, i really don't like finn, in the end Clarke is definitely in need to get fucked, jake is a loveable idiot, lexa really doesn't need protection, raven is a drunk idiot, this story wouldn't exist if they just communicated
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 09:34:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28651338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Qwerty542/pseuds/Qwerty542
Summary: Clarke and Lexa have been dating for a while now, but every time Clarke brings up going further with the relationship Lexa scares away. All it takes is some late nights, and Lexa working herself into distruction before she let's Clarke know what exactly is going on.
Relationships: Anya & Lexa & Lincoln (The 100), Anya & Lexa (The 100), Anya & Raven Reyes, Clarke Griffin & Raven Reyes, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Clexa - Relationship, Finn Collins/Clarke Griffin, Octavia Blake & Clarke Griffin, Octavia Blake & Clarke Griffin & Raven Reyes, Octavia Blake & Raven Reyes, Octavia Blake/Lincoln
Comments: 6
Kudos: 122
Collections: Clarke and Lexa





	Run away from me, but I'll wait

**Author's Note:**

> I got this idea from watching High School Musical 2 with my sister, and honestly I have no idea how. But I guess I kind of like it, so I thought why not throw it online? 
> 
> My first Clexa fanfic that I actually post online, what a great way to start 2021. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it, and you might expect more work from me (if anyone is even interested) I have tons of unpublished fanfiction, and some fanfictions that need a lot of work but at least are a work in process.

Lexa is a runner. 

She ran away when some guys 5 years older than them bullied her every time when she was alone. 

She ran away when Anya fell through the wooden floor of the second level of an abounded house, they never should have been in the first place.

She ran away for three whole days when she thought her college application would be denied.

The point is, she runs away when she gets frightened.  
Now that shouldn’t be a problem, as that Lexa rarely gets frightened plus it’s a basic human emotion that is there to protect you; but right now, it is a problem. One Clarke isn’t sure she can fix.

X

It started the first time she confessed her love for the brunette, Lexa her eyes went wide and she didn’t say anything for at least a few minutes. The silence tugging onto Clarke’s heartstrings like never before. It took her all of three minutes to say I love you back and it took her another minute to kiss Clarke back, who had cut her words off with a desperate kiss. Anyone else would see Lexa’s reaction as a rejection, but Clarke knew Lexa better than everyone. Had known Lexa better than anyone for her entire life already. She knew that whatever was going through Lexa’s head, was panic in the best way it could possibly be. 

Their friendship had always been more of a relationship than it was something else, the touches, kisses, looks, even the nights they shared together. Both of them tried to date other people but they just ended up in each other’s arms each and every night.

Clarke still remembers Nilyah’s words when she broke up with her, ‘I see the way you look at her Clarke. Your heart never belonged to me, and I doubt it will belong to anyone but her.’ It took an angry Raven Reyes yelling in her face before she finally understood who Nilyah had been talking about all those years ago. It took her even longer to understand that maybe Nilyah had been right in what she had said, her heart belonged to Lexa in every way imaginable. Yet, it took her another year before she finally had the guts to ask Lexa out, all it took was Raven (again) and Anya practically yelling at her that they had been doing this dance for far too long, and everyone was sick of them not doing anything about the feelings they clearly had for each other. When Clarke had tried to defend herself and said that those feelings never had been that clearly, Anya quite literally slapped some sense into her. 

After her heart felt confession and a good talk about how they were going to do things, they made it official. Not that it was a surprise to anyone, Lexa and Clarke their feelings were obvious for everyone apart from them. 

Their relationship started reluctant, because it didn’t feel much different than what they had as bestfriend’s. They still spent almost every time with each other, talked or at least called every day, slept in each other’s arms, hung around each other and hugged all the time. The only thing different was that they had taken the physical contact to another level (although they would be lying if they told you they hadn’t done anything before their confession. Drunk friends and forgotten nights had been their excuse for the 7 times they ended up together. Nothing changing about their relationship as they still were both idiotic cowards the morning after.) and that was what made it easy, that was what made Lexa not fear everything immediately. The fact that not a lot changed. Because Lexa didn’t scare quite easily, but intimacy did scare her immensely. And everything was great, really more than great. They loved every second they could call each other their girlfriend’s. And Clarke was all too proud to show Jake and Abby the woman she was dating (although Abby and Jake knew Lexa since she was born and deep down both of them also knew she would end up dating their daughter one day. It was practically inevitable). 

X

That however changed when Clarke put the idea of them living together; it was practical as they were together all the time, and it would safe both of them a lot of money (that were the reasons she used, although her desire to live with Lexa had nothing to do with that). Lexa dashed out the door with an excuse of her mother calling (her mother died when Lexa was 3, and although she cared for Indra, she never did get to calling her mother) and left Clarke alone and stunned in her apartment. She returned back that night; Clarke already having fallen asleep in the bed hugging the pillow tight as a way to make up for the person not sleeping next to her.

‘Hey,’ Lexa whispered as she shook Clarke awake with her free hand. She could see Clarke had been crying, her eyes thick and red, looking tired and bleak as she blinked them open, trying to realize who had so rudely awakened her. The moment Clarke could see her girlfriend sitting there on eye-level, and actually processed it was her girlfriend who had walked out on her that morning she flung herself in Lexa’s arms. Lexa stumbled slightly at the impact, laughed lovingly and tightened her hold around Clarke. ‘I’m here Clarke, I’m sorry.’

‘I’m sorry for asking, it went to quickly I know. I shouldn’t pressure you; we don’t have to Lexa. I just wanted to lay the option on the table. Nothing more, nothing less.’ Clarke moved back underneath the warmth of the covers. ‘Just don’t disappear again.’

Lexa shook her head and showed the flowers she had been holding behind her back, ‘I know I reacted poorly. I’m sorry for disappearing.’ She handed the flowers to Clarke who smiled widely at her and she couldn’t help but lean in and peck her girlfriend’s lips. ‘And I would love to move in with you.’

‘You do?’

‘Yes, I thought it over and I think it would be great. You practically live here anyway.’

Clarke laughed and laid the bouquet of flowers on the foot-end of the bed before pulling Lexa into the bed with her, peppering her with kisses making the brunette laugh. ‘I love you’ Clarke confessed when Lexa’s laughter had died down and she had taken her into her arms.

‘I love you too Clarke, god I love you too.’ 

X

Now, she had made another giant mistake like that and really, she should have seen it coming. She had brought Lexa to their hometown for Christmas. Lexa hated their hometown, but Clarke’s family lived there and there was no way she was going to skip out on Christmas with the Griffin’s (Clarke would have her head). It went smoothly, Lexa bickered with Abby about the littlest things and Clarke joined her girlfriend making Abby even more enraged. Then Jake would come and would separate them like little children before it would get really out of hand. They played games (which always ended up as a disaster; Clarke didn’t even know why they still did it) and she and her mom got into a huge fight making them post-pone dinner until the two Griffin woman had resolved their fight. Their apologies mostly included things like: ‘I still believe you cheated’ and ‘If you hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t have reacted that way’. But all in all, she and her mother were talking happily with each other, not two minutes after Jake had made them hug, and with the addition of the wine their little fight was completely forgotten about. Besides their little side track Christmas was great, even though Lexa didn’t really like Christmas. It wasn’t until the elaborate Christmas dinner that everything imploded. 

Jake is a good guy, he doesn’t mean things in a bad way even if it might seem like that, he doesn’t do things on purpose. At least not things like that. Jake jokes and laughs the hardest about his own jokes not noticing one person shying away.

But that he doesn’t mean it like that, doesn’t mean that Lexa understood that. It wasn’t that he had never joked around Lexa, but this particular conversation was something Clarke was avoiding like the plague. The next step in their already 5-year-old relationship. She would love to marry Lexa; she would love to stand next to that woman and actually be able to call her; her wife. But, with Lexa reacting a certain way on certain things, she really wasn’t able to even allow herself to think about marriage. Their whole living together debacle was only a year ago, and they were still only 24. There was no hurry in getting married. But she hadn’t told her parents about Lexa’s tendency to run away from her when things would get too real. That was something between her and Lexa, and Lexa actually tried and she was getting better step by step. So, Jake also didn’t know that this specific subject was not something to bring up. 

Clarke saw it all unravel before her eyes slowly, Jake playfully threatening Lexa about when she would put a ring on ‘it’ and whether or not she would ask for his permission. His tone was so child-like, the grin on his face showed that he wasn’t serious. Deep down she hoped Lexa could see this too, that she could see through her haze of panic that this wasn’t anything to be actually panicked about. But then her eyes landed on her girlfriend and she knew that it was all just feign hope. The tight hold Lexa had on her cutlery; her knuckles white as day. The way her jaw tightened and her eyes went wide in panic. She could even see the normal soothing movement of up and down of her chest became agitated, her breaths quickening in panic. And Jake, friendly non harming Jake, didn’t notice it for a second. His eyes focused on his plate where he was cutting his turkey in tiny pieces. Only a moment later Lexa dropped her cutlery and dashed out the door in a very similar manor as that morning she brought up living together, and Clarke felt her chest tighten painfully. Jake his eyes flew open in shock and completely numb to whatever warning signs Lexa had showed he asked if he said something wrong. Sometimes she wondered if she was the only one who could see Lexa’s reaction, if the reactions were so minimal others didn’t even notice anything out of the ordinary. She told him not to worry and she quickly got up to follow Lexa, not sure if she liked a panicked Lexa walking around in the middle of the night. 

She had found her sitting on the bench just outside Clarke’s house. 10 years later and the image still made her heart beat faster. Her first kiss was on that bench, her first-time holding hands was on that bench and all was with Lexa (even if both of them just shoved it off as practicing for the real deal). Lexa had her head in her hands, her elbows leaning on her legs as her fingers had a tight hold on the brown locks Clarke loved to ran her fingers through. Wordlessly she had sat down besides the woman and waited for Lexa to calm down.

It was half an hour later (Clarke was almost certain they would freeze there) that Lexa broke the silence, ‘Sorry, didn’t mean to freak out.’

Clarke breathed out a relieved sigh and pulled Lexa against her, trying to comfort the girl (and maybe also trying to find some warmth, because it was f-r-e-e-z-i-n-g) ‘You don’t have to apologize.’

‘Don’t you want to be with someone else?’ Clarke’s heart quite literally stopped for a moment. She knew this came out of a place of care but that was quite the opposite of what she wanted. If she would want someone else, she wouldn’t have stayed 5 years already. ‘Someone who doesn’t panic and runs away every time something remotely serious comes up. I’m a coward and you deserve much better.’

It was the first time she had ever heard someone describe Lexa as a coward, and from all the people it was Lexa who was the one saying it. 

‘Stop.’ Was the only thing she could command. ‘I don’t want anyone else but you.’ She cupped the woman her face, forcing her to meet her eyes. Her green eyes so vibrant and full of emotion she couldn’t help herself when she leaned in to kiss her softly. ‘You Lexa, are not a coward.’ She mumbled against her lips, and for a moment she thought it would be okay. They could go back inside and enjoy the rest of their dinner.

‘Tell me, are you ready to marry? Do you agree with your father? Have you never thought about marrying be, but couldn’t bring it up because you were afraid, afraid I would run again?’ Clarke’s next breath was shaky and for Lexa that was answer enough. ‘I know you Clarke. If I was anyone else, if I wasn’t so me you would have brought it up all the time. You would ask what is taking me so long, you would have at least hinted something. But you didn’t. You’re afraid I might run away.’ Lexa closed her eyes. ‘And you’re right to be afraid.’

She wiped away the tear that rolled down Lexa’s cheek with her thumb, unaware there were tears rolling over her own cheeks. ‘Maybe. But I don’t want anyone else, I want you.’

Lexa opened her eyes again, ‘I love you’

Clarke laughed and the tears continued rolling over her cheeks at, by now, an unstoppable rate. She couldn’t help but pull the woman in another hug, so tight that if she wasn’t consumed by her own emotions, she would be worried she was smothering her.

‘I love you too Lex.’

X

And she thought, everything was okay again. Lexa apologized for her sudden reaction to Clarke’s parents and then they made their way to the bedroom which they didn’t leave until it was well in the afternoon, the next day. The rest of the vacation was great too, Lexa seemed to be happier, like a weight had been lifted of her shoulder and Clarke wasn’t sure how long it had been since she had seen Lexa this happy, this free. But it took it’s turn, and not in a good way, when they returned home in Polis three days later. Lexa threw herself into work, spending almost every day in the office and staying there late at night, coming home when Clarke was already asleep and leaving before the blonde had woken up already. Even on weekends Clarke barely saw her girlfriend anymore. The longest conversations they had were over text and it was mostly Clarke asking whether she would be home for dinner (even though she knew the answer beforehand already) and Lexa giving some bullshit excuse about more work. This was Lexa running away at its finest and Clarke had never been so scared of losing her as she has for the past weeks.

After 5 weeks of not seeing her girlfriend more than a few minutes, Clarke wondered if this was it. If this would be the end of a 5-year-old relationship, if this would be the end of a friendship that had practically started from the day they were born. She missed Lexa, missed her touch, missed her kisses, missed her comforting words when she would breakdown, missed her hugs and missed the way she always drew circles on whatever naked skin she could find on Clarke; whether it was her stomach, arms, hands, legs or back it was something she just mindlessly did whenever they would-be lying-in bed together. She missed her girlfriend, she missed her best friend, she just missed everything that was Lexa and she hated that she didn’t know how to fix this. She didn’t know what she could say or do, she didn’t know what she could do to have her girlfriend back and was completely miserable because of that. 

X

It was the 7th week (not that anyone was counting or something) of Lexa’s cold treatment that Clarke met someone. A man, Finn was his name. He was charming and funny and he made her feel less lonely. He made her feel like she wasn’t about to breakdown; because all she longed for was Lexa back in her arms. Their friendship was quick to be build, they both had much in common and Clarke could laugh around him and really, she needed that more than anything else right now.

She hadn’t even told Lexa about him (not that she really could) but decided to invite him to do a movie night at their house. Now, Lexa wasn’t necessarily a jealous person but finding your girlfriend dancing with a boy in the middle of the night, in the house that you together own, probably wasn’t the best way to meet Finn. 

Clarke didn’t really know how it started but she had laughed about a scene in the movie where they were dancing, so Finn had proposed to mimic it. Right at the moment their hands were intertwined, Finn’s arms coming around her waist and they were swaying back and forth, the floorboard creaked and Clarke looked up to find Lexa staring at the both of them. It was the first time in days she had seen her girlfriend, and she looked even worse than she remembered. Not that she wasn’t beautiful, no Lexa would always be beautiful, but she barely looked alive. Her skin was pale, her cheeks sunken, her eyes standing tired and the bags under her eyes probably wouldn’t even be covered by make-up. Her normally proud and tall stance was nothing but sunken shoulder and looking like she was about to collapse any minute. And in all her worries about her girlfriend, she forgot about how Lexa had found her in their shared house. 

‘Hi,’ Finn said, breaking the silence also breaking of the staring battle the two women apparently had with each other. Reluctantly he let go of Clarke, who quickly stepped away from him. She took one step towards Lexa, but quickly stopped when she saw the dark look in her eyes. Lexa was jealous and tired and Clarke suddenly regretted inviting Finn there. ‘I’m Finn, I’m a friend of Clarke’s.’

‘Hello.’ Came the monotone response, ‘Clarke’s girlfriend.’

The room fell silent, ‘Oh, Clarke hadn’t told me.’

She hadn’t. Not for the reason Lexa must be thinking about right now, judging by the dark look in her eyes darkening even more. She hadn’t told Finn because thinking about how she and Lexa were right now, was a bit too much to tell a friend she only knew for a week. He didn’t need to know about the relationship problems she was having, so not telling him about Lexa seemed the best option.

‘Oh,’ Lexa said blinking a few times. Her jaw locking and her nails digging into the palm of her hand. ‘she hasn’t told me about you either. Something we have in common.’ 

‘We were having a movie night,’ Finn told Lexa, ‘Her mom made brownies and god they’re so good, you know you should try one.’ Finn was ready to walk towards the table where the brownies stood when Lexa’s voice cut through the silence.

‘I know. I’ve had them.’

She knew Finn was just trying to make the situation less awkward for them, but could see in everything Lexa did and said that he was only making it worse.

‘Finn, I think Lexa and I should talk. I’ll text you?’

‘Yeah,’ He breathed out before placing a chaste kiss on her cheek, which Lexa really, really didn’t like and quickly moving out of the room leaving the couple to stare at each other in silence. 

‘He seems nice’ Lexa forced out between gritted teeth. Honestly, Clarke couldn’t care less about Finn right now. This was the first time she had seen Lexa in days. She was mad and confused and heartbroken but most of all she had missed Lexa and didn’t want to spend this time fighting or talking about someone that wasn’t really a big deal to her. He was nice, she liked Finn but she loved Lexa.

‘Lexa hey, how was work?’

‘Great.’ Lexa loosened her tie around her neck. Everything about her was tense and angry and tired. ‘Where do you know Finn from.’ If Lexa was trying to hide her distaste for the man, she was doing a really terrible job at it. The poison with which she spit out his name, Clarke wasn’t sure if she had ever heard someone say someone’s name with so much hatred running through it.

‘I met him through Raven, we’ve been spending some time together lately since- ‘She cut herself off. Since you’ve been disappearing. Instead, she let Lexa fill in the words herself, she knew she understood what she meant.

‘He is in love with you,’ Lexa concluded, ‘Or he likes you at least.’

‘What?’ Clarke would understand why she thinks that, but Finn wasn’t in love with her. They were just friends.

‘You should have seen his face when you said I was your girlfriend. He likes you Clarke. He’s probably in love with you.’

‘Oh’

‘Are you?’

‘Am I what?’

‘In love with him?’

‘What? No!’ She was ready to defend her choices when she realized how unfair this situation really was. Lexa disappeared on her, for days. For weeks even. She didn’t text, didn’t explain why she was running away from Clarke, why she was avoiding her at all costs. Left her alone to be completely miserable, wondering if she had said or done anything wrong. And right here she was, first time they had seen each other in days, first time they had really talked to each other in weeks, and the first thing Lexa wants to do is accuse her of cheating. ‘Not that it is any of your business, but we're just friends.’

‘Not any of my business?’ Lexa practically growled out, ‘I’m your girlfriend, how is this not my business?’

Clarke merely shrugged, ‘You haven’t been acting like one anyway.’ And she left the room without another word. Some part of her hoped that Lexa would follow her upstairs and take her in her arms like she used to do, and they could fall asleep together. But the moment she reached their bedroom she heard the front door bang shut and the engine of Lexa’s motorcycle slowly moving further away into the distance. 

X

It was pure spite that made her invite Finn to their game night which they had every Friday night. It was their turn to host (their meaning Lexa and Clarke) but since Lexa was stuck at work, she had invited Finn to come over and help her set things up before Octavia, Lincoln, Raven and Anya would arrive. She wasn’t sure how much contact Lexa still had with Anya, if it was as much as she had with Clarke, Anya wouldn’t mind quite literally replacing her sister. If she still had contact with Anya like they used to, Clarke couldn’t bring herself to care what either of them thought then.

They had fun (sort of). Judging by the glares she was receiving from Anya, she did not like whatever Clarke was doing (although she wasn’t sure what she was trying to do either) and Anya wasn’t shy to let her discontent towards Finn show. Octavia and Lincoln didn’t really seem to care, only raised a judging eyebrow whenever Clarke would act too clingy and Finn seemed to like it a bit too much, and Raven, who was completely wasted, just kept asking where Lexa was. Something about how all of them sucked and she missed her teammate (Raven and Lexa would usually team up and completely destroy the rest of the teams and she hated that she was paired with Anya know; although she loved her, they were really bad at winning since they were too distracted with each other. And Raven hated losing) making Finn grunt in discontent. 

Honestly Clarke didn’t know what she was expecting, didn’t know how this entire night would play out, didn’t even know why exactly she invited Finn. But from the moment she heard the front door open, her heart started banging in her throat. Right then Finn chose to pull her against him (like he knew Lexa was coming home) and Clarke could see everything happen slowly. 

She saw Lexa smiling proudly, which made her heart beat faster because god had she missed that smile, she saw how Lexa stepped inside the living room and then saw Clarke and Finn and her smile immediately dropped. The room fell silent and Clarke could see Lexa dropping her keys onto the ground as she stared at Finn with so much hatred that she was almost afraid Lexa would lunge forward and snap his neck.

‘What is he doing here’ She snarled out and she saw practically everyone winch at the tone in her voice. 

Finn, the idiot, decided that right now would be a great time to act like one and pulled Clarke closer against him. Honestly, anyone could see the discontent on the blonde her face, she didn’t like what he was doing either, but the strong hold he had around her kept her from moving away. And judging from the anger in Lexa’s face worsening, she couldn’t see the discontent on Clarke’s face through the haze of hate and jealousy. ‘I was invited,’ Finn announced, ‘By Clarke. Clearly, she likes spending time with me more, otherwise she would have invited you.’

Lexa laughed, humorless and not even remotely entertained, ‘Invite me? I don’t know if you got the memo Finn, but this is my house you’re sitting in. I don’t need to be invited; I give the invites.’

Clearly the piece of information that Lexa and Clarke also lived together had slipped Finn’s mind because he let out a surprised, ‘Oh’ and the smirk on his face shrank. 

‘Clarke? A word?’

Clarke quickly took the opportunity and moved away from Finn as quick as she could and followed Lexa into the kitchen. Closing the door behind her, so that their friends wouldn’t listen in on them. 

‘Listen,’ Lexa sighed out, ‘That day, that was one thing. I believed you when you said you weren’t cheating but- this-‘Lexa seemed to be at lost for words, something that rarely happened. ‘But these are also my friends Clarke, that is my sister who you are proudly showing your new boy toy too. Cheating is one thing,’ Her tone sounded broken, nothing was left of the woman full of anger that was standing before them only a few seconds ago. Lexa seemed tired and broken and everything she hoped she would never see on her best friend again. ‘But humiliating me like this? I just- ‘Her words were cut off by a broken sob and Clarke’s heart ached.

‘Lexa I’m not cheating on you; it was just our turn to host game night and you weren’t here. I figured there was no harm in inviting him.’

‘He likes you; you like him. It’s obvious, maybe you aren’t cheating but- ‘

‘But what? I might as well be? That is some bullshit. Yes, I like him’ The way Lexa’s head dropped down and the tears streamed down faster, Lexa probably hadn’t expected her to say it out loud, or to actually admit it. Lexa hadn’t expected it to hurt so immensely as it did ‘As a friend Lexa. I like him as a friend. I’m not cheating and I never would.’

‘I get it I have been the worst girlfriend, but there’s a reason and- ‘

‘I’m not cheating’ Clarke said a bit louder, interrupting her ‘I never would.’

She let out a shaky sigh, ‘I told you, you deserve better than me and that is- ‘

‘Can you stop!’ Clarke yelled out, ‘What did I tell you? I don’t want anyone else; I want you. I want to figure this out with you. I want to help you. I want you, in every way. I want the broken you and the you who runs away leaving me questioning how I can fix this. I want you Lexa. I just want you’ She was sure the closed door didn’t help for a second, but with the tears spilling from her eyes and the first real conversation she had with Lexa in a while, she couldn’t really bring herself to care. ‘I have been your best friend your entire life Lexa, I know who you are, what you like, what you do in the morning, how you look when you wake up and how you look when you are utterly tired. I know you better than anyone. You really think that if I didn’t like, fucking hell love, what I see, love all the things I know about you, that I would still be with you.’ She breathed out and lowered her town, forcing herself to calm down. ‘I will repeat it for the rest of the days we’re together, but I want you and there’s no one else I want. I don’t care whether you think you deserve me or not, I want you and that’s that.’

Lexa stood up straighter, the look in her eyes determined, ‘Will you let me speak now?’

‘No. I need you to understand that I am not cheating on you. I don’t like Finn it that way nor will I ever. He makes me laugh yes, and I needed that yes. Want to know why? Because I miss my girlfriend Lexa! I miss you and fuck it hurts and I’m so scared, I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t know how I can get through to you.’ She ran a hand through her hair letting her back rest against the wall of the kitchen, the words she has been wanting to say to Lexa are flowing out of her mouth before she can even think about it. ‘I don’t care about marriage as long as I can be with you, I don’t care about anything really. So, just stop, stop running because- ‘A sob left her mouth before she could finish her sentence and Lexa had her in her arms before she knew it. The familiar scent wrapping around her, and Lexa’s arms comforting and oh-so-familiar. She knew she had missed this, but only now she realized how much she had actually missed it. Right there, being in Lexa’s arms it felt like she was complete again, like the part that had been crumbling down was suddenly build back up. ‘Because I miss you terribly,’ She mumbled into Lexa’s neck, tightening the hold she had around her. Afraid this moment just might be over as soon as it happened. ‘Because I miss my girlfriend Lexa. I miss watching movies with you, I miss talking to you until it is way too late and we both will regret it later only we won’t because- because there is no other reason, I would rather stay awake. I miss you and everything about you. And yes, I miss sex,’ She hears Lexa chuckle and can’t help but chuckle too, ‘But mostly I just miss you, and I wish I could fix this. Let me fix this, tell me how I can help. Tell me what went wrong, what made you run away. What made you ignore me for these weeks and let’s work it out’ She paused before locking her eyes with Lexa’s, ‘Together Lexa. Let’s figure out whatever scared you so badly, together.’ 

She feels Lexa shake her head as she steps back, a tiny smile that is so utterly Lexa on her face, Clarke can’t help but smile herself too. Lexa cups her face lovingly and she closes her eyes momentarily, breathing deeply in and out before she opens them again.

‘I wasn’t afraid, I wasn’t running away’ Clarke opens her mouth to protest, but Lexa simply presses a chaste kiss against her lips. ‘My turn to speak,’ She mumbles before leaning back, her thumb striking comforting back and forth against Clarke’s cheek. ‘I was throwing myself in my work yes, but for a different reason. I wanted to do this differently, god I had this entire plan in my mind but you’re right enough is enough. Frankly, I can’t wait either, the moment I heard the news today I couldn’t wait to get home and ask you.’

‘Ask me what? What news? What are you talking about?’

Lexa just chuckled, ‘The reason I have been working so much, is because Nia was fired. Her position needed to be filled and they had three potential persons for the job. Me, Kane and Cage.’

‘What? Why didn’t you tell me?’

‘I wanted it to be a surprise, I got the news when we came back from the holidays. I thought, if I get this promotion, I could do this right’ Lexa didn’t elaborate what this was, only signaled between the two of them. ‘I hadn’t expected it to be such a battle. My over-hours weren’t excuses; I was actually there all the time trying to get that stupid promotion.’

‘Did you get it?’

‘Oh no,’ Lexa chuckled, ‘Cage got that position without a doubt, knew that 5 weeks back already.’ Clarke raised a questioning eyebrow, because that didn’t explain why she was smiling, didn’t explain why Lexa was talking like she had some kind of good news. ‘I didn’t really want the job anyway, it paid more but it was terrible. I can’t tell you how relieved I was when they said Cage got it.’

‘Okay, but then why did you need to stay in the office after that? Why did you still avoid me?’

‘My extreme hard work caught the attention of Titus, he said that I was excellent in what I did and that I would become big one day. I thought it was an empty promise, or something that would happen in the far away future but then he said that he was leaving the company soon.’

‘What?’ Clarke exclaimed; Titus was the boss of the entire company. Him taking an interest in Lexa was one thing, him taking an interest in Lexa a few weeks before he would leave was a whole other.

Lexa nodded happily, ‘I got it Clarke. I got the promotion. I’m not only Cage his superior, I’m his fucking boss.’ Lexa kissed her, ‘And I did it all for you’

‘How so?’

Another kiss before she stepped away, she could still see the unshed tears shining in Lexa’s eyes. ‘Clarke Elizabeth Griffin, I have known you my entire life. I have loved you my entire life. 5 years, 12 weeks and 3 days ago you confessed that you loved me in a way that you shouldn’t love me. You turned my world upside down and showed me a new kind of happiness that I never thought I was allowed to feel.’ Lexa shoved her hand inside her pocket, ‘At Christmas I freaked out, because you are way too good for me, like honestly I can’t believe you want to be my girlfriend. But I also freaked out because of how badly I wanted to marry you, to be allowed to call you my wife. I wanted to do it correctly,’ She inhaled deeply, ‘So, in these weeks I disappeared and was the most horrible girlfriend, probably alive, but that time was me trying to become a better one.’ Lexa chuckled again, ‘I know how that sounds but I really was. I started seeing a therapist, she helped me a lot with my tendency to run. I’m not there yet but I’m getting better. I got a huge promotion allowing me to get a huge pay check too, that means you can start getting back into art Clarke. I know I’m not perfect.’ She finally took her hand out of her pocket and showed a tiny velvet red box, with golden letters on it. Her name; Clarke. ‘I know I’m not, but you make me feel like I’m perfect. Whatever happens to us; however, we want to twist and turns things and however life might try to rip us apart, I don’t want to do it any other way than by your side. I love you Clarke. I love everything about you. I love your face and your arms and your boobs- god I love your boobs’ Both Clarke and Lexa chuckled between their tears. But the tears only became more when she watched Lexa get down on one knee, opening the box to show a beautiful ring; one that she had wanted since she was a little girl. It was the ring her father had given to her mother. ‘Clarke, I know I fucked up, and I’ll probably fuck up more and I can’t promise to be perfect, but I can promise to try, try for the rest of our lives together.’ She paused and breathed in deeply before finishing her speech with the question Clarke had dreamed of her asking ever since she was 12 years old and learned what love was, ‘Clarke Elizabeth Griffin, will you marry me?’

She pulled the other woman up and wrapped her arms around her before kissing her deeply, feeling the smile tugging onto her lips as she feels Lexa’s hand reluctantly land on her waist. When they parted Lexa, her eyes shot all over Clarke’s face, trying to find an answer to her question. If her shining eyes and blinding smile was any indication Lexa would already know her answer, but through her cloud of nerves she needed verbal conformation before she could allow herself to relax.

‘Is that a- ‘

She was shut up by another bruising kiss, ‘Of course you enormous idiot, of course that is a yes!’ She laughed and pulled her girlfriend or now fiancé into a tight hug. ‘Next time just maybe not shadow me for 7 fucking weeks, I was fucking miserable without you.’ 

Lexa chuckled softly peppering her with kisses, ‘Me too, really. I hated every second of it.’ She pouted, ‘I just wanted it to be a surprise.’

‘Next time, surprise me faster.’

Lexa laughed and Clarke joined her when the brunette lifted her up and spun her around. ‘So, we’re like, getting married?’

Clarke hummed happily, ‘If you can handle that’

‘Clarke, ever since that night on that bench outside your house in the freezing cold, it’s all I dream about.’

‘Oh god, it was so cold!’ Clarke said remembering her still shivering when Lexa was knuckle deep inside her (or maybe there was another reason she was shivering) ‘Couldn’t you have run towards the bedroom; it was so hot in there.’

‘Pervert’

‘You’re the one that mentioned how much you love my boobs in your proposal.’

Lexa groaned, ‘I was nervous!’

‘But you do love them’ 

Lexa nodded, ‘I do. I love your boobs but I also love you, just everything.’

Clarke laughed and Lexa followed along. When she suddenly heard voices from the other room, she had completely forgotten that there were other people in the room beside them. Really, the entire world fell away the moment that door closed behind them and they were finally together again. 

‘We should probably go back in,’ Lexa said placing soft kisses on Clarke her neck, ‘Share the news.’

‘Yes,’ Clarke breathed out, already feeling herself getting turned on. In her defense it had been so long since she had Lexa touch her properly. Of course, she did it herself but it wasn’t long as good as when Lexa did it. But they had all the time in the world for that tonight. Right now, she wanted to share the news that Lexa was her fiancé. She pushed her grinning fiancé off her as she rolled her eyes. ‘One thing, the excessive working stops now right? You go back to actually spending time with me? I swear to god I can’t handle that again.’ 

Lexa held out her hand, ‘I can’t handle that either. So, weekends I’m free and my work days are only from 8 till 17, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday.’

Clarke raised her eyebrow, ‘Wednesday?’

But Lexa shook her head, ‘Completely free. Means that I can watch you paint, or you can paint me or we can paint together!’ 

Clarke just laughed at the enthusiasm of her fiancé, both knew that whenever Lexa was involved with Clarke painting, they would end up having sex on her desk or against the wall or on the floor (not that Clarke really minded). Especially not after these 7 weeks. She would be all to glad to have Lexa completely for herself whenever she would get a free day, and judging by Lexa’s eyes sparkling she wouldn’t mind it either.

She followed her back into the room and all eyes were focused on them immediately. Except Anya and Finn, they were in some kind of heated staring battle making Lexa laugh proudly at her sister. They didn’t say anything but Clarke leaned into Lexa’s side and just showed her hand, the ring on her finger making every gape at them.

‘Told you,’ Anya said smugly, her eyes not even looking at the couple for one moment. Anya had known about Lexa’s plan all along. ‘Whatever you may think you know about Clarke; I know a lot more Finn.’

Finn his eyes shot from Anya towards Lexa towards Clarke towards the ring that was on Clarke’s finger, ‘Clarke did you- ‘

‘Yes!’ She said enthusiastically, completely dense to the underlining jealousy in his tone. ‘Lexa asked me to marry her and I said yes.’ 

Cheers went around the room and Raven and Octavia didn’t wait for a moment to pull her away from Lexa and ask every detail there to be asked. With a smile and a nod Lexa let go of her hand, and made her way towards Anya who hit her fist against Lexa’s arm as a way of affection making the brunette smile proudly.

It took Finn all of two minutes to angrily stand-up, ‘Why are you applauding this? This woman was barely here, she doesn’t deserve Clarke.’

Clarke looked at her fiancé and could see the smile falter, and no she was not going to let this happen. Lexa still was barely convinced she deserved her (which was idiotic, if anyone didn’t deserve anyone it was her not deserving Lexa) and she wasn’t going to let Finn ruin this night for them, for Lexa. ‘You don’t know anything about us Finn. You’ve known me for what? 2 weeks? You don’t know what our relationship is like and you certainly don’t know me well enough to decide whether she deserves me, yes or no. Which she does.’

‘You don’t really think this,’ Finn says as he steps towards her, before he could take another step it was Anya who moved between Finn and her, her gaze threatening and angry. But Finn didn’t falter, ‘Why else would you invite me here? Why else would you not tell me you have a girlfriend? You like me Clarke, and I like you.’

The words stung because even though it wasn’t the reason, she had invited him here, she understood why anyone might think that. Initially she kind of wanted Lexa too think it after all those weeks of her suffering. It was her payback (which she regretted the moment Lexa stepped inside and Clarke saw her smile falter immediately) But however much they stung, they weren’t true and they weren’t ever going to be true. 

‘I was hurt and lonely, you were a friend Finn. I didn’t tell you about Lexa because- ‘

‘Because there is nothing to tell,’ Finn interrupted. Finishing her sentence for her. 

Anya practically growled when he wanted to move passed her towards Clarke, and they all had to put tremendous effort in not bursting out in laughter at Finn’s face. ‘Because I didn’t think a friend of 2 weeks would be someone, I should unload something so serious on.’

‘We have something Clarke,’ Finn tried, ‘Don’t throw this away for her.’

Lexa got up, slowly. She gave a nod to Clarke and then laid a hand on a practical fuming Anya, as she turned towards Finn. ‘Finn dear,’ Her voice was cold, and Clarke knew this Lexa all too well. It’s the way she is to almost every outsider, cold, distant, scary. ‘This is embarrassing for all of us to watch. I would ask you kindly to leave my house, may you feel stubborn and in need for a fight; Anya and I don’t say no to beating up little bitches who can’t take no for an answer.’

Finn blinked once, twice and seemingly out of nowhere he lashed out. But both Anya and Lexa saw it coming because Lexa dodged the attack and Anya took the arm and twisted it behind his back. It was Lexa who hit him against his nose making him yell out in pain and it was Anya who all to happily threw him out of the house.

‘Fun friends you have Clarke,’ Lexa said with disgust making everyone laugh. ‘We should invite him more to game night’

She couldn’t help herself when she fell into Lexa’s arms, never could she have expected that morning when she woke up, that she was going to be Lexa’s fucking fiancé, but she was and she has never felt happier. ‘I love you’

Lexa ignored Raven who was making noises like she was about to throw up (or she was going to throw up, with the amount of alcohol it wouldn’t be surprising) and held Clarke tightly against her. ‘I love you too.’

X

Lexa is a runner. But she always comes back 

She ran away when some guys 5 years older than them bullied her every time when she was alone. But took on boxing lessons and defeated them all in a fight a year later (they were all talk and nothing else)

She ran away when Anya fell through the wooden floor of the second level of an abounded house, they never should have been in the first place. But came back with Indra, who was furious, but at least could help Anya with her broken arm.

She ran away for three whole days when she thought her college application would be denied. But later Clarke found out she in reality had been searching for a place to stay. So, she wouldn’t be too far away from Clarke as she was finishing her last year of high school (Lexa wouldn’t dare admit it at the time, but that was the thing that actually scared her; being away from Clarke)

The point is, she runs away when she gets frightened. But always returns to Clarke sooner or later and no matter what happens, she would always return to Clarke. No matter how frightened she might be.


End file.
